Can You Stand to Be Blessed?

I will be completely transparent and tell you that 2022 has not gone as I expected. When I was given the Word that 2022 would be a year of double blessings, I was expecting, ummm BLESSINGS.

I was not expecting tests and trials. I was not expecting moments of darkness and despair. I’ve questioned, “God why me?” Why am I going through this storm when I’ve been faithful to You?

I’ve been so confused because I thought I was doing the right things. I mean I’ve been studying my Word, I’ve been serving, I’ve been blessing those in need, I’ve been self evaluating, I’ve been praying, I’ve been checking my motives, I’ve been tithing, I’ve been fasting, I’ve been showing up for Bible study, Sunday school AND church service, I got the life coach to help me organize and get my house in order, I’ve been washing AND folding the clothes, I’ve been the submissive and faithful wife, shoot I’ve even been trying this gentle parenting thing and stopped yelling at my kids (as much). While I am not perfect, I have been intentional.

SO WHY AM I NOT REAPING A HARVEST OF BLESSINGS THAT WAS SPOKEN IN GALATIANS 6:9!! I HAVE NOT GROWN WREARY SO WHY AM I NOT REAPING!!! (Yes, I’ve really had a couple of meltdowns like this with my Father). Yes!! You read that correctly. A full fledge, crying, can’t breathe, on the floor, feel like I’m dying meltdown. On an occasion or two I’ve even compared myself to Job.

I am so grateful that God is a faithful Father. He came and got me together real quick. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not reducing the pain I’m experiencing in this season. It’s good to reveal these feelings in order to heal. HOWEVER, comparing it to Job, was a tad dramatic.

When I say that “God got me together real quick”, I need you to understand what that really means. He comforted me through His Word. He reminded me of how much I was loved. He took me on a journey of my past, and showed me how ALL things have ALWAYS worked out for my good.

He reminded me that whenever I felt like I was going to die, I was actually being delivered. Whenever I felt like I was being rejected or isolated, it was actually Him drawing me closer. It’s like God needed to get me in His secret place to reveal something to me.

While reading God’s Word earlier today, He reminded me of something He spoke to me while watching a sermon in January. “Here is Holy”.

The season I’m in RIGHT NOW is the season that’s going to bless me abundantly. Instead of trying to pray away the pain, instead of trying to get out of the hot-seat, instead of trying to abort the mission because things are getting too real, I must embrace it. I need to be still and learn. I need to endure, so God could perfect all that’s concerning me.

I’ve prayed BIG prayers. God has shown me HUGE visions. In order to receive everything He has for me, He has to prepare me. He has to mature me. He has to make sure that my roots run deep. He has to make sure that I’m strong enough to withstand the storms of life without breaking.

So while things are not going like I imagined they would be going, I count it all joy. God knows best. There is a blessing in the testing. There is a testimony in the trial. There is a breakthrough in the breaking. While at times I feel like I am dying, I will get through this and come out stronger and wiser. I had to release the idea that blessings will always be pretty and easy. While Noah was blessed with a rainbow, Abraham’s blessing came through circumcision. So have your way in my life Lord!! Not my will, but Yours be done.

God is planting me, pruning me and perfecting all that concern me.

#yearofdoubleblessings #DoubleForMyTrouble #plantednotburied